Before the Fall
by Windbloom
Summary: <html><head></head>Mikasa Ackerman, the champion alone at the top of her tower. Annie Leonhardt, the loner with a secret. More alike than either of them care to admit, this story explores the relationship the two of them could have had during the time before Annie's capture. Their relationship is a wild ride of indifference, mild dislike, sexual tension, curiosity, understanding, love, and betrayal.</html>
1. Chapter 1 - Once More, That's It

_This generally follows canon, but will veer into uncharted waters. Chapters may be out of chronological order. Krista/Ymir is (so far) just a minor part of the story._

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><p>Mikasa knew it was wrong. It was too cold and dark to be out of bed so early. She hadn't slept well. It was that dream where it was all just screaming. She wondered if it had been the same for Annie. Annie, the only other person awake so long before dawn, sharing this cold empty field in silence.<p>

She listened to Annie's fists and legs as they sliced through nothing, beating the shit out of air. She could hear her short panting breaths and something in Mikasa's stomach took flight. Her own muscles were like a collared dog's, and it felt good to use them. For a second she was honestly enjoying the training, until she remembered it was all just an act.

When they'd finished their "training", Mikasa turned towards her. She could just make out Annie's dead set expression and the sweat on her brow. Sometimes just looking at her was like trying to breathe underwater. Her chest was heaving, and sweat rolled down the small of her back. They both knew what was next, without even having to speak a single word to one another.

Annie turned away from her and stalked across the field towards the storeroom. Mikasa followed. The way Annie pushed the door open was so desperate that Mikasa felt it in her gut. It was dark inside, and smelled like sweat and leather. Annie had walked to the opposite wall and stood with her back to Mikasa, her head tilted slightly down. Mikasa approached her, and pressed her chest against Annie's back. She placed a heavy hand on Annie's shoulder and leaned forward to whisper into her ear.

"Don't turn around."

With all the efficiency of a trained fighter, Mikasa pulled Annie's arm up behind her and twisted it. Annie bit her bottom lip to keep the moan from escaping, hard enough to almost break the skin. It wasn't the pain in her arm, or the harsh fingers wrapped around her throbbing wrist. It wasn't pain that welled up from the depths of her and soared to her throat to try to rip itself from her lips.

It was need.

Annie kept it in. She, more than anyone, knew how to keep a thing inside. Her composure was second to none. Mikasa used her powerful body to pin Annie up against the storeroom wall. The cold stone made her nipples harden and ache. She pinned her, like she thought Annie might try to run. They both knew otherwise. This was the reason they had woken up. This would be what they had to look forward to. Thinking about the next time would get them through the days. How long had it been, since they started playing this dangerous game?

Annie coveted Mikasa's slow, rasping gasps, hot and breathy at the exposed skin at the nape of her neck. Of course she'd go for that, Annie realized. Mikasa Ackerman. Always so diligent. Such a quick learner. The teeth against Annie's skin broke down her defenses while breaking the skin, and there was nothing left to stop her needy sounds. She could feel her face get hot and red when she felt Mikasa's lips curve up to form a smile.

Mikasa's own calm was threatening to fade. She could feel Annie's moans at the very core of her. She shoved her free hand down Annie's pants with an urgency that surprised herself. She could feel it. The sting of guilt; the wounded pride. Her own strong heart sickened by such a base need. She, who was the very best of them, reduced to such desperation.

It was _her_ fault, of course. Her quiet strength, the golden glinting blonde of her hair in the light, the crook of her nose. All of it. Her fault. The reason for this downfall. Falling, yes, but Mikasa told herself it would not be her knees that would buckle. It would not be her thighs that shook and strained. She would walk away easily, afterwards. She was doing this; it was not being done to her.

Annie bucked her hips and slammed a fist into the wall in front of her. She was warm against Mikasa's body, warmer still against her hand. A warmth more potent than even the warmth of the scarf. A stranger heat that Mikasa felt the absence of, in the night, alone, in her bunk, while Krista's muffled sighs came forth through silent darkness like a curse.

Ymir and Krista. Damn those two. It was so easy for them to be themselves. But who was she, Mikasa wondered. This warrior, in the dark before the sunrise, with her hand between Annie's legs, stroking her into sweet oblivion. The top of her class. An orphan. A champion. Or was she anything? Anything at all?

"Come for me," she whispered into Annie's ear.

Annie's eyes widened, and the sound of Mikasa's voice poured over and through her like liquid heat. She let go. Her body jerked, and her stomach tensed against Mikasa's forearm. She cried out as she came, grasping at the wall as her legs lost their strength. Mikasa held her up, and continued to hold her even after she had finished. She let her hand rest on Annie's own throbbing heat. Annie was gasping and sweating, like Sasha after laps.

"It's almost dawn." Mikasa's voice was quiet and smooth, distant; retreating. She kept her hand still. Annie tried inching her hips forward to rub against her fingers, but Mikasa pressed her own hips forward and held her still.

"We can't do this forever," Mikasa whispered. The words carved a deep hollow that both of them felt. The silence crept into the absence like an animal waiting to die.

Annie felt sharpened; honed like the blade of a knife. "Can't we?" She asked as she pushed her hips back against Mikasa's own, pressing her ass up against her until she heard Mikasa's defeated sigh. "Once more, that's it," Annie begged, and when she heard her own voice she felt like it belonged to someone else.

Mikasa paused, but after a moment she pressed a finger inside.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Lay of the Land

Reiner threw his weight onto the bench beside Annie with a thundering slam. The sound of it snapped Annie back into reality with a jolting mix of panic and desire. She had been lost somewhere between the heat of Mikasa's breath and the smell of her sweat. It was a dangerous place to be. She refused to turn her head, but she could still feel his overbearing grin creeping along his chiseled face. Bertolt slid onto the bench beside him in silence.

Annie bit into a biscuit, tearing at it with her teeth, working her jaw so she could put her mind on hold. She kept her eyes straight ahead, but that turned out to be a mistake. There was Ackerman, sitting on the bench at a table across the dining hall. Mikasa's eyes met hers, and Annie tore her gaze away so fiercely that she almost felt whiplashed.

"Someone had a rough night. Or was it an early morning?" Reiner's voice was thick with taunt. Annie thought he might as well be wiggling his eyebrows and elbowing her in the ribs. They both knew that if he did either she'd break his nose. She swallowed her biscuit and washed it down with some tea.

Reiner whistled. "You're on a mission today, huh? What's the plan, Annie?"

"Reiner…" Bertolt sounded unsure. Annie thought he was smart. They shouldn't have been messing with her. Not after she'd gone and lost her mind in front of Ackerman, all but begging her to stay in the storeroom when they both knew it was time to leave. _Once more? _What had she been thinking? It was the first time she had made it sound like she needed it that badly. She didn't need anything that badly, and she didn't need Ackerman at all.

_We can't do this forever._

Annie narrowed her eyes._ Ackerman had that right._ Why then, did it cut her so deeply to hear her say the words? She watched her from across the hall, and in the deepest, darkest depths of her, she felt for the first time a small winged creature trying to break free.

Reiner had been so close to the truth, but he didn't have any of the facts. Just like that other time.

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><p>She could remember the sound of the stream by the path up the mountain. Standing at the summit, overlooking the forest and the lake beyond. The sound of the wings of hawks in the distance, hunting by night. Hunting beneath the cover of darkness.<p>

Reiner stood at the edge of the cliff. The moon slipped out from behind the clouds and lit them up in a glowing light. Annie stood behind him and glanced up at the stars.

"You know why we brought you up here?" Reiner turned towards her. He looked changed, in the moonlight.

"To see the lay of the land." Her voice was hard and controlled despite their tranquil surroundings. Reiner smiled a more genuine smile than Annie thought him capable of. She tilted her head to one side and looked off into the distance, past him, towards where the land and the sky met.

"So, what do you see?" Reiner's words were thick with meaning. Bertolt looked vaguely uncomfortable.

"I see what I look for." She would play his game. Reiner glanced at Bertolt, who stood off to one side with his long hands shoved into his pockets.

"And what are you looking for now, Annie?" Bertolt asked, with a soft sincerity that played perfectly with Reiner's rough bravado.

"That depends. What do you have to show me?" She looked at him with a pointed stare.

Bertolt closed his eyes and smiled to himself. "Nothing you haven't already seen."

Annie said nothing.

They stood there, in silence. A hawk swooped into the trees in the valley below and came out empty-beaked. Annie turned her head, and her eyes narrowed. Perhaps this had been a waste, after all.

"Are you a soldier, Annie?" Reiner made no effort to hide his appraising stare.

"What makes one a soldier?" Annie chose to look back towards the vast expanse of land before her that seemed to open up like a promise.

"A soldier is someone who gives orders."

"Or follows them," Bertolt added.

"Someone who's on a mission, and will do anything to accomplish it," Reiner finished, as he crossed his thick arms over his even thicker chest.

"I suppose I'm my own soldier."

"The army of Annie, huh? Has a nice ring to it." Reiner grinned, but his eyes betrayed his disappointment.

Annie went cold, no longer wanting to play along. She made to turn back towards the path, but Reiner took a step forward, and the sound of his boot scuffing the dirt ripped the silence in half.

"Eren Jaeger."

One of the survivors from Shinganshina. Annie had been watching him and his companions from afar. They were a tight-knit group; almost like a family. A tendon in Annie's neck jumped as she turned her head.

"What about him?"

"He's different. Might be worth your time."

So Reiner and Bertolt had seen it too. She wondered if they would.

"We're starting hand-to-hand training next week. You'd have plenty of reasons to strike up a conversation." Reiner's voice was slow and cautious, like he was trying to coax a bull back into its cage.

Annie narrowed her eyes. _Strike up a conversation._ Like the words were flames. Like talking could provide any warmth or light. Annie shivered and bit at the inside of her lip.

"How persuasive you are." She dropped her shoulders slightly as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket and looked back up to the purple, star-swelling sky. "Are we done here?"

"Hey, come on. We're still friends, aren't we?"

Friends. Annie didn't have friends. She told herself that didn't care to make them, and had no idea how to keep them. There was no one, inside the walls or out, who she could call her friend. That's how she liked it. That's how she needed it.

As she followed them back down the path, she watched them walk alongside one another. There was no doubt in her mind. They were strong. They were the future. Still, she had to keep her distance. If she opened up, even just a fraction, she risked a crack in her carefully crafted armor. It was a risk that she, as a soldier, wasn't willing to take.


End file.
